do you remember we were sitting there by the water
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welcome to my life. (∩_∩)
this is where my flashback will begin.
are you ready? ≧∀≦
cant take this no more.
Sunday, July 19, 2009 @ 1:26 PM
i cant do this no more. Not loving someone is so hard. I wish I can just kill my self instead of loving you. Its so hard....why cant I just give up on life. Seeing you yesterday and needing to ignore you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I cant do this anymore. It hurts my heart too much. My heart started cracking....I need someone to come and heal it with a band aid. I hate getting jealous of you and other people but I cant help it. Yesterday I suck it up so much I cant stop tearing today. The whole night I was thinking of why I cant stop loving you. It hurts so much but I know you dont wanna stop loving me but its best for us. It seems like you can stop loving a person so fast, but I cant. All I can do it cry. There's too much emotions in this friendship that we been through. You expect me to stop loving you without making it obvious. You want me to not make it obvious that we liked each other. You expect me to stop thinking of suciding. You expect me to still become friends. I cant do it. I've always did what you want me to but you never did anything I wanted you to do. You never did anything to make me happy. The only thing you do is to hurt me even more. You want me to be happy around you but I cant do it. Everytime I see you I just wanna run away and cry. Telling me we cant be is already too much but now you tell me you dont love me it hurts. Im human dont you forget and a girl. I cant function when I cant love you. You dont even care about me no more. Not as much as you did before. I can tell through you calls. You promise to call me at least once a day but I bet you forgot. I wish I could have died instead of meeting you. Its too painful to be friend and pretend I never liked you....its too hard for me. I feel that I can just break down right now. Everytime I talk to you about my guy friends, you always seem to want me to like them but I dont. You make me feel bad rather than cared for. I rather hurt myself than to make you feel bad. Thats why i can never talk to you because Im scare to accidently say it out. Im just another stupid young short girl in your life. Im gone.
"So hold her closer when she cries, hold her closer when she feels. She needs a hand to hold, someone who will never let her go again. And hold him closer when he tries to hold the tears back from his eyes. Dont say good bye."
"Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go, it's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you. "
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Someone changed my life. He would make me breakfast when I'm still asleep. He would hold my hands and dance with me. He would drive me somewhere and the both of us would be
watching the stars. He stands out from the rest. He doesn't judge me by the way I talk, laugh, move or wear. He loves me just the way I am and I adore him for who he is.